Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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