we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
