covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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