drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
