So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
