So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
