I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
