It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
