Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
