Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
