i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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