Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
