A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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