At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
