Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize