My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sorry about my life...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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