We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
