like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
