you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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