If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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