...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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