Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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