Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I enjoy the company of your penis
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
