she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
