i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
