Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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