loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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