He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
