I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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