Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
