When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
