Small penises have feelings too.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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