i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
