D3 body, D1 cock
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
