no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
