We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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