@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
