I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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