My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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