I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
