im drinking this country out of the recession.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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