Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
