God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
