I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
