i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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