JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize