Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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