ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize