Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
