No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
