Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
