but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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