I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
