This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
