I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
