true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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