Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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