if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Text me some of your sweat
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
