his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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