No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
