Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
