You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
