What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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