Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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