I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
