Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
