Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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