How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
